I was lying on a sunbed on Stoupa Beach today when I discovered that I’d let the domain name lapse for SwaggerAndSoul.com! While all my domains are usually on auto-renew, I had some problems with my bank in the early part of the year (very long complicated story!) and my card had declined.

This was not because of a lack of cash, but because the account had been closed summarily after a mix-up with companies house and my accountant. Told you it was a long, complicated story. With many annoying ramifications.

Having sorted the domain name (cost me $112 in all, very helpful lady at Namecheap.com, well done!) I thought I had better bring things up to date with a new blog post.

First of all, I’m feeling much, much better.

Three years on from Steve’s sudden demise on Saturday 12 March 2016 and while I still miss him and think about him every single day, the roaring, terrifying, debilitating emotional pain has gone.

“They” say grief starts to ease at around eighteen months and they didn’t lie.

I remember the very day things started to improve.

I sat on a sunbed, feet digging into warm sand, sun shining brightly out of the bright blue sky overhead, listening to the wash of little waves on the sand and the cry of happy children. I realised to my surprise, that I was happy. Just for that moment, sure, but it was the first time for years. It was the first such moment but not the last.

But it’s a bit like being ill, you don’t really realise how bad it was till it’s totally gone. I look at photos of me from that time and imagine that I can see the awful pain in my eyes, because I can still remember how it felt.

I’m not sure I’ll ever forget how it felt. I’m sure to experience it again in life, but at least it won’t be a first time. It won’t be such a shock.

This year I started travelling again for work. I’ve been to Australia, to Sydney and the Gold Coast. Then I went to Las Vegas for the most amazing week ever. Expect blog posts about those trips very soon.

For now, I’m off to cook dinner and find the final of Britain’s Got Talent. It’s a Sunday, after all.

I’ll leave you with this picture of a recent Stoupa sunset.