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About Nicola Cairncross

Nicola is an author, speaker, podcaster & digital marketing consultant with over 25 years of experience. She helps authors, speakers & experts of all kinds create digital products, an engaged community and an independent income. Leave her a comment below, optin for any of the free gifts at her various websites or simply book a call to talk to Nicola about how she can help you.

14 September 2022 By Nicola Cairncross Leave a Comment

WDYTYA | My Family Tree – A Long Road To Scotland | Part 3

Having tackled my Mother’s side of the family, via my Grandparents Ronald & Amelia Lish’s ancestors, it was time to turn to my father’s side.

The person I think of as my Dad, Alexander “Sandy” Cairncross, has a well-documented family tree – they even have their own website.  The earliest Cairncross’s go back to 1200 and were at the court of David I, King of Scots (1124-1153).  There was a Castle, Glendearg, but it’s in ruins now.

My particular branch of that family didn’t stray far from Montrose, in Scotland, and were fishermen, although you will see my Dad became an engineer in the Merchant Navy, travelled the world and now lives in New Zealand (for the second time).

Read Part 1 Here >>>
Read Part 2 Here >>>

While Dad was undoubtedly very Scottish and I’d always been very drawn to Scotland, I’d never FELT particularly Scottish, as if I was cheating a bit by drawing on my step-father’s birthright.

Dad (Sandy Cairncross) had met my Mum in rather unusual circumstances, while he was a Chief Engineer on a ship in what is known as the Merchant Navy.  But I’m getting ahead of myself here…

Mum had been an up-and-coming dancer and singer in local then national Repertory Theatre and had even made it to the West End.  She was in the Yul Brynner version of ‘The King & I’ in which I’m pretty sure she played ‘Little Eva’. She’s also danced in the ‘Dolly Birds’, a forerunner of Pan’s People, who I think danced on Lionel Blair’s show when UK TV first started.  He wasn’t very happy when I told him that, when I met him much later in life! I think it made him feel old.

She had some pretty racy tales to tell, one involving my godmother (also a dancer), a lake in the middle of nowhere and Adam Faith!

I always thought her mother, my Nan, had forced her off the stage to marry when she got pregnant with me with my birth father Thomas, but looking at her marriage certificate, that was not the case.  They married on 4th July, 1959 and I wasn’t born till late September, 1961.

That’s just the first surprise of this episode of the blog!

She married Thomas and moved back to Sussex, to Durrington in Worthing. After marriage, she worked in Durrington Telephone Exchange (which she hated) and lived on Greenland Road, just down the road from her Mum and Dad.  We were to return to Greenland Road later in life, because, unless venturing north to Scotland, or west to Wales (both after meeting Sandy), Mum didn’t stray far from Durrington.  I suppose, with her first husband Thomas away at sea, she wanted to be near family and then with two more children by Sandy, she needed help even more!

The Imperial War Museum’s website gives a short history which starts with “In wartime, Britain depended on civilian cargo ships to import food and raw materials, as well as to transport soldiers overseas, and keep them supplied. The title ‘Merchant Navy’ was granted by King George V after the First World War to recognise the contribution made by merchant sailors.

Britain’s merchant fleet was the largest in the world during both world wars. In 1939, a third of the world’s merchant ships were British, and there were some 200,000 sailors. Many merchant seamen came from parts of the British Empire, such as India, Hong Kong and west African countries. Women also sometimes served at sea in the Merchant Navy. “

Googling it, the uniforms were as smart as in the Royal Navy and standards and training were assuredly as high. Profits come first and all that!

As I sat and thought about it all, I realised that I WAS half-Scottish, due to my birth father Thomas being just as Scottish as Sandy was.  You’ll laugh as we go through this story, how could I not have known?  Iut in my defence, Thomas was rarely there and died when I was very young, under 10, so over the years I’d largely forgotten about him.

Thomas Clark Cochrane McKenzie

My birth father, Thomas Clark Cochrane McKenzie, was the Navigation Officer, also known as the First Officer or Chief Officer on the Ben Line Merchant Navy.  My mother was on board to recuperate following an illness, as spouses of officers were occasionally allowed to accompany them on trips.  There is much more to this story that I have time to go into here but I’ll write it up one day.  Essentially she had electric shock treatment after post-natal depression with my sister Heather, and that led to her first episode of poor mental health.

Prior to all this, my mother was very glamorous, if sad.  Thomas was a distant figure, a serial philanderer and presumably rather busy with his duties on board.  She told us that when she was on that long trip, she hated spending time in the Officer’s Mess, finding them very stuck up, and over time got to know a load of the ‘below decks’ ratings and spending time down there. She ended up falling in love with Sandy Cairncross, the Chief Engineer.

Two officers on the same ship, on a round-the-world tour of duty.  As my daughter, Phoebe would say, ‘That’s awkward.’

I only remember seeing Thomas once, when he came home from the ship.  There must have been other occasions but this occasion stands out because he got very cross. Heather and I were squabbling over a chess board and Thomas threw it across the room in irritation.

We only visited my birth father’s home in Edinburgh once that I recall, at the age of around 5-6 years so it would have been the mid-Sixties.  I remember it was a very small flat in a tenement block with lots of stairs.  I met my Grandmother, whose name I don’t recall and “Auntie” May, who my sister Heather and I both recall vividly, due to the wealth of hairy moles on her seriously whiskery face.  Grim.

Now I’m getting older, some of my moles are showing the same tendency and in memory of Auntie May, I’ve determined – no matter how shortsighted I get – not to let them get out of hand.  I have a tiny great nephew now, Finn, and I don’t want to see him recoil when they say ‘Give your Great Aunt Nicola a kiss!’ if I can avoid it!

It took ages to track any information down about Thomas Cochrane McKenzie, he really was a man of mystery. I didn’t know about his other middle name Clark at this point.

He didn’t appear on any Census, there’s no birth record and if it wasn’t for their Marriage Certificate, which I held in my hands,  I wouldn’t have known his father’s name or occupation.  Mum did have one photo of him but that was long gone.  I remember he looked a bit like my late partner Steve, which is weird but not when the psychologists say you are attracted to people who remind you, physically or emotionally, of one of your main carers.

The ‘Clark’ middle name was new to me – the photo I’d seen was inscribed ‘Thomas Cochrane McKenzie’, but if I thought this extra name would make my birth father or his father easier to track down, I was to be proved wrong.  I have to say at this point the Ben Line were very helpful.  I wrote to them and as I was able to give them lots of detail, they eventually sent me his service record, which was on four index cards.  This provided some of his earlier and later addresses along with more details about how and where he died.

Thomas’ father William Matthew McKenzie was a Miller according to the Marriage Certificate, but he didn’t appear on any Census records either.  In fact, I only stumbled across him when one of his brothers showed up.  I don’t even remember how I came across his brother, but suddenly, there was William Matthew McKenzie large as life. It must have been a Census Record.

The McKenzie Clan

William Matthew McKenzie was born in 1907, in Larkhall, Lanarkshire, Scotland.  His father, William McKenzie Snr was a labourer, born 1863 in Moray, Scotland. William Snr was later listed as a ‘book canvasser / peddler’ in Edinburgh, so he was a door-to-door salesman. After the death of his mother Agnes in 1923, when William Matthew was 16, the family moved to 3A Cannon Street, in Edinburgh in 1925, then William joined the Merchant Marine in 1925 at the age of 18.  That explains his lack of Census entries too.

Then, on 4th March 1927, after just two years at sea, William Matthew married Mary Burnie Waugh, a chocolate packer, in Lady Glenorchy’s Parish Church, St Giles, Edinburgh.  William is listed as 20 years old on that marriage record, which confirms this is the right William, even though there is no mention of a middle name of Matthew.  This is not unusual, however.

Mary Burnie Waugh had been born in 1909 and there’s a World War I Enlistment Record for her father, William Waugh, aged 36, where Mary is listed with the correct date of birth.

But I’ve been unable to pinpoint her exact date of death, as Mary McKenzies (as she would have been then) were fairly common in Scotland!  There is a cremation record for a Mary B. S. McKenzie in Edinburgh in 1955 but I’ve been too mean to pay to see the cremation record. Also, I remember meeting Grandma Mary in the mid-Sixties so that ruled her out.

There’s a Mary B. W. McKenzie listed in the 1966 Census as living at 217A Dalkeith Road, Edinburgh.  The initials make me think this is her as does the fact that I would have been able to visit this one.  Google street view chimes with my memories of the buildings too.

Further investigation revealed that the men on the ships of both the Royal and the Merchant Navy were not counted in the census unless they were on shore on the day of the census. That would explain the lack of Census records for both William M. and Thomas as adults.  But not Mary Burnie Waugh McKenzie and the young Thomas.  He was born in 1937 so should have been included in two at least, as they are done every ten years.

This is the kind of rabbit hole you can end up in, on Ancestry.

Initially I didn’t want to assume Mary Burnie Waugh is Thomas’ mother, as the William McKenzie she married did not list a middle name and he was listed as a Railway Labourer at 20, but perhaps he joined the Merchant Navy afterwards. 

There is also a family tree on Ancestry that lists the couple as having one child William, no mention of a Thomas.  Mary Burnie Ward McKenzie is quite an unusual name, so it’s unlikely it’s another couple.  So I’m contacting the owner of that other tree to see if she’s heard of a Thomas Clark Cochrane McKenzie.

Here’s a picture of Lady Glenorchy’s Parish Church by Stephen Dickson.

If Mary Burnie is Thomas’ mother, he wasn’t born until April 1937, which is 10 years after their marriage in 1927.  This seems a long time to wait for a baby, until you remember William was in the Navy and away for long periods of time. Perhaps Mary’s fertile periods didn’t coincide with William’s shore leave!

Why are there no birth records for Thomas Clark Cochrane McKenzie? Was he illegitimate? Why wasn’t he registered at birth and how could he join the Merchant Marine without a Birth Certificate?  Who were William and Margaret who, in some records are listed as siblings and offspring of William and Mary, but whom I have never heard of?

So many questions.

Eventually, I had to leave Mary Burnie McKenzie and resolve to come back later. The name Burnie was niggling away at me though, could I have heard it as a child?  Grannie Burnie?

In the end, cruel as it sounds, Thomas’ mother is a bit irrelevant, as once past this slight hiccup, the McKenzie line rolled back in time, unfolding across one magical Sunday afternoon in Brighton, just before Christmas 2021.

Back To The North Of Scotland

Just to recap, Thomas’ dad was William Matthew McKenzie, so his grandfather was William McKenzie, born 1863 and married to Agnes Marshall.

William Snr’s dad was William Brandon McKenzie (b. 1837) who married Helen Hislop.  William Brandon was an agricultural labourer living mainly in Forres, Moray.

His father William McKenzie (b. 1810) lived in Urquart, Elgin and was listed on the Census as a mason, so at least he had a skill.  William married Christine Ramsey and they went on to have 12 children!

The next generation back stuck with tradition and William’s father was also a William (b. 1783) who married Margaret Rhind (b. 1788).  Christmas for this pair must have been expensive with 12 grand-children!  William & Margaret lived at Phimisters Houses, Moray, Scotland and he was still in the Army!

This is where we depart from the McKenzies temporarily but not the Williams, because Margaret’s father was William Rhind (b. 1751) listed as a Farmer, and her mother was Rebekah Falconer.  It is unknown if he owned his farm or was a tenant farmer but it’s a step up from the generations to come!  The more I delve into all this, the more I realise that the key to prosperity is having some land, whether you own it or rent it.  As people moved towards the cities, most tended to get poorer, in so many ways.

Again, my spidey senses started twitching, as when you come across a surname like Falconer, you are getting close to someone who may have been a Falconer to a nobleman or even to Royalty, as people tended to be named after their professions.  Rebekah Falconer was my 5th Great Grandmother, just to orientate ourselves on how far back we are.

The Falconers of Moray area, although fairly ubiquitous, didn’t get any real fame until Hugh Falconer (1808–1865).  He was a contemporary of Darwins and became a Scottish geologist, botanist, palaeontologist, and paleoanthropologist.  He studied the flora, fauna, and geology of India, Assam,Burma,and most of the Mediterranean islands and was the first to suggest the modern evolutionary theory of punctuated equilibrium. He studied the Siwalik fossil beds, and may also have been the first person to discover a fossil ape.  He and his businessman elder brother created the Falconer Museum, which has sadly closed due to lack of funding.  It’s still there but closed for now.

Rebekah’s father, John Falconer (b. 1727) although of interesting ancestry if you go far enough back, married Marjory Kaenock, who had another intriguing name (spelled many different ways) and she’s the more interesting leg of the family here.  The Census hadn’t started in Scotland by then, so I’m assuming that everyone from here on in were landowners.

Her father Thomas Kynock (b. 1702) married Margaret Sinclair, whose parents were Mary Duffus Sutherland (b. 1682) and the very grandly titled Sir James Thomas 7th of Mey & 4th Baronet Sinclair. Now they wouldn’t have let Margaret marry any old hobbledehoy, so Thomas must have had decent prospects.

I was getting excited now.  I had to get up and make tea.

There was a castle!

Here it is, the Castle of Mey, Caithness (Barrogill Castle).  And what a very fine Scottish-looking castle it is, so much so it caught the eye of Queen Elizabeth, the Queen Mother.

In 1952, HM Queen Elizabeth The Queen Mother saw what was then known as Barrogill Castle while staying with Commander and Lady Doris Vyner at the House of the Northern Gate on Dunnet Head, a short distance to the west.  Despite its poor condition, Her Majesty purchased the castle that year and set about renovating and restoring both the castle and its gardens and parklands, which extended to about 30 acres. She also restored the castle’s original name changing Barrogill Castle back to The Castle of Mey.

Sir James Thomas, 7th of Mey & 4th Baronet Sinclair’s father was the 3rd Baronet of Mey, Sir James Richard (b. 1655), who married Dame Margaret, Lady Duffus  Mackenzie (so there was more Mackenzie blood that far back!).

I was excited to google them and find a picture of Dame Margaret, my 9th Great Grandmother.  I think you get a real sense of her from this picture, the artist must have been very good.  She was a Lady in her own right, before she married the 3rd Baronet.  Her parents were Lord Kenneth, the 4th Earl of Seaforth. He married  Lady Isabella, seen here on the right.  The family nose is alive and being carried down the centuries.

Lady Isabella MacKenzie
Scougall, David; Portrait of a Woman; Thirlestane Castle Trust; http://www.artuk.org/artworks/portrait-of-a-woman-211052

Wikipedia reports “A longstanding view of the Mackenzies’ history has often highlighted the demise of a once powerful Clan while also reflecting a popular misconception of the Highlands in general as something of a benighted backwater.

Although the Mackenzies’ roots were indeed essentially Celtic when traced in the direct male line, being effectively an offshoot of the ancient Scottish royal family, early intermarriages ensured that they remained part of a highly cosmopolitan network of kinship, both Gaelic and Norman, that ruled Britain and France in the Middle Ages. After a complex series of changing loyalties, which did not always follow the interests of the Crown, a subsequent strong allegiance to the House of Stuart was established under the leadership of the Clan’s 15th-century chief, Alexander “the Upright”, from whom most Mackenzies living today are descended. This secured the family’s impressive ascendancy as one of the most powerful clans in the Highlands as well as in Scotland as a whole.”

William dubh Mackenzie, Marquis Of SeaforthThe Seaforths created the MacKenzie tartan and commanded an imposing force of men. To the right you’ll see what looks like a 14-year-old but is actually William Dubh Mackenzie, the 5th Earl and 2nd Jacobite Marquis of Seaforth.

The formation of regiments, most notably the Seaforth Highlanders, the building of great canals and railways in Britain, the surveying of the oceans  and of India, and the exploration of Canada are among the remarkable achievements of this innovative family, whose ties of kinship have long persisted across oceans and hemispheres and indeed continue to do so to this day.”

This was getting silly now, I was torn between finding out about each of these people and just rolling with it, because Ancestry was feeding me parents and grandparents thick and fast now.

I decided to keep going with the male line and come back to follow the other threads later. I was also finding Coats Of Arms galore so my Tree was starting to look very colourful.

Sir James Richard Sinclair, 3rd Baronet of Mey was born to James Thomas Stewart 4th Earl of Moray, 9th Earl of Argyll, Duke of Richmond & Lennox (b. 25 June 1608) and he married the rather nicely named Anne Margaretha.  They had many children.

James Thomas’ father was Lord James Stewart (b. 1581), 3rd Earl of Moray, Doune, Strathearn, and Abernathy and he married Anne Gordon followed by Elizabeth Stewart.

James Stewart’s father was another James Stewart, (b. 1568) entitled the ‘Bonnie Earl Of Moray and he was the 2nd Earl Of Moray and Lord Dune.  He also married an Elizabeth.

Phew, let’s take a breather.

And appreciate the Bonnie Earl.  Perhaps the nose is a bit too long for him to be considered ‘bonnie’ nowadays but I’m sure a few titles made up for it.

Let me tell you, it was a real headache trying to untangle all these Earls and Ladies.  For a start, the boys all seemed to adopt a different name when they inherited the Earldom and they were often intermarrying with families of very similar names.  Only the birthdates kept them apart and as long as the dates made sense, I felt sure I was on the right track.

That, and of course, the fact that gentry’s births, marriages and deaths were well recorded so Ancestry was doing a good job of combing the records and filling in the blanks.  I was cross-checking with Google, but I found you can not always trust Wikipedia and some of the online blogs were worse!

Sir James Stewart, 1st Earl of Moray, was born in 1540 and married Margaret Campbell.  He might sound a bit plain, after the fancy titles of the other, previous Earls, but James’ father was James V, King of Scotland, (b. 1512 • Linlithgow Palace, Linlithgow, West Lothian, Scotland).  His mother was Margaret Erskine.

Now we are on a roll with the Royals.  James V’s father was James IV (Stewart) King of Scotland (b. 1473) and he married Margaret Tudor, Queen Of Scotland (b. 1489) – that’s her on the left.

James IV’s father was James III (b. 1451) and James III married Margaret of Denmark. Margaret of Denmark was a real catch, because her father was King Christian of Denmark, Sweden and Norway.  He’d actually united those three countries for the first time.

So I had Viking blood too.

James III’s father was James II (are you getting the hang of this yet?) and he was born in 1430 and married Mary of Guelders.

James II’s father was James 1st (b. 1394) and he married Joan Beaufort. James II only became King because his twin older brother Alexander died shortly after birth, making James the heir.

There are pictures of all these people. Well, paintings and drawings of varying quality.  As I googled them and downloaded their photos, I looked in their eyes and thought, you are related to me.

More tea was required.  I felt just like Josh Widdicombe, a working-class comedian, who found out his line went back to Edward the Confessor and beyond.

It all felt a bit surreal.  I was all on my own, nobody to tell and anyway, I wanted to be sure that I’d done it right, before I said anything.

Could it get any better than this?  Although the Stewarts were not thought to be the best kings, several royal great-grandads and grand-ma’s would do, surely?

Fortified with tea, I started again.

I’ve got quite a good grip on history, at least Tudor history but we were way past that.

James Stewart, James I of Scotland, had parents I hadn’t ever heard of.  His father was John Stewart (b.1337).  John became Robert III, King of Scotland. He married Annabella Drummond (b. 1350).

John (aka Robert III)’s parents were Robert II, King of Scotland (b. 1371 and he married Elizabeth Mure around 1348, legitimising their four sons and five daughters. His subsequent marriage, after Elizabeth’s death, to Euphemia de Ross in 1355 produced two more sons.  Robert II was a virile man.

Robert II’s parents were Walter Stewart b. 1296) 6th High Steward of Scotland and Marjorie Bruce (b. 1300)

Now, hold on!  You can’t mean…

Yes, you’ve guessed it, Marjorie (left) was the daughter of Robert I of Scotland, also known as Robert De Bruce (b. 1274). Marjorie’s mother was Robert’s first wife, Isabella of Mar. Sadly Isabella died, shortly after childbirth, before Robert ever became King Of Scotland.

(Incidentally, this was all happening about 200 years after David I, King of Scotland reigned, who included among his Lords, one of my Cairncross ancestors by marriage).

At this point, Ancestry baldly informed me that Robert The Bruce is my 22nd Great Grandfather.  I’d sortof grasped there was a connection but there it was in black and white.

I was a bit vague about the details of Robert The Bruce beyond what we had been taught in primary school so I turned to Google.

“Robert the Bruce is a fitting name for the king that fought for Scotland’s independence, even if it’s a coincidence that stems from his family name “a Briuis” or “de Brus.”

Robert the Bruce was crowned King of Scots in 1306 and led Scotland to victory in the First War of Scottish Independence against the English. The king who won Scotland’s independence—it’s no wonder he lives on in legend as a national hero.”

robert the bruceI sat back and googled Robert The Bruce on Google Images, only to find he looked nothing like Mel Gibson.  I’d never seen Braveheart but always assumed it was about Robert de Bruce.  He looked more like the King Of The Dwarves in Lord Of The Rings.

It turns out the film Braveheart was about the legendary thirteenth-century Scottish hero named William Wallace.

“Wallace rallies the Scottish against the English monarch and Edward I after he suffers a personal tragedy by English soldiers. Wallace gathers a group of amateur warriors that is stronger than any English army.”

Grrrr, I wanted to know more about Robert de Bruce.  I knew he’s lived in a cave at some point and by watching a spider spin a web, he learned that you should never, never give up on your dreams.

In my further Googling, I found out Robert de Bruce WAS the real Braveheart.  From the website Ranker.com

We all know that historical movies can be inaccurate. Sometimes, they get historical figures completely wrong – for example, Pocahontas was a child when she met John Smith, and so was Isabella of France when William Wallace was alive. Still, most historical movies don’t make executions less gory as was the case with William Wallace’s execution in Braveheart, and they don’t make real historical figures less intense. But Braveheart is guilty of both.

Just look at how Braveheart portrays Robert the Bruce, King of Scotland. In real life, Robert the Bruce and William Wallace were allies, openly fighting together – but in the movie, Robert the Bruce betrays Wallace. That couldn’t be more wrong. Robert the Bruce was so committed to Scottish independence that he offed his rival in church to crown himself King.

In fact, Robert the Bruce is the true Braveheart. He fought for Scottish independence even when it cost him his family and nearly his life. In order to win back his wife and daughter, King Robert chopped a man in half. And you’ll never believe how he got the nickname Braveheart. Needless to say, Braveheart ‘sequels’ about Robert the Bruce were long overdue. “

And the best was yet to come.

“According to a 14th-century Scottish chronicler named John Barbour, Robert the Bruce always regretted that he never went on crusade. On his deathbed in 1329, Robert asked one of his knights to take his heart on the crusade so that it could fight against God’s enemies. The knight, Sir James Douglas, carried Robert’s heart in a silver case, riding to Spain where war raged against the Moors.

In the heat of combat, Douglas was killed in a surprise attack – but before riding into battle, he reportedly threw the urn containing Robert the Bruce’s heart at the Muslims, shouting “Lead on brave heart, I’ll follow thee!”

The heart was returned to Scotland after the battle, where it was later interred at Melrose Abbey in Scotland.”

I loved that story, it’s appropriately bonkers.

So What Does All This Mean?

Quietly digesting all this new information over the next few days, I realised firstly that there was a rich seam of Christmas Presents for the kids. The McKenzie tartan was rather splendid – blue and green with a thin red line – and so I purchased a few choice items for stocking fillers.  Mugs and scarves, I restrained from buying kilts and heraldic pins.

Then I realised that I was starting to feel differently.  As well as realising why I’ve always been drawn to ginger men!

I’d taken a bit of a kicking emotionally during lockdown.  I absolutely cannot bear unfairness or injustice of any kind.  Things that are illogical drive me mad, so you can imagine how I was struggling with all the nonsense rules being inflicted on us.  Being made to walk a certain way in pubs or stand 2 metres apart.  None of this had any roots in science, they were just making it up and people were going along with it!

Not to mention people dying in hospitals of ineffectual treatments while governments banned doctors from using what worked, and nurses made TikTok videos. Grandparents dying alone, in nursing homes, not being allowed to see or hold their loved ones.  Australians and Canadians being unable to leave their country, or move from state to state, while losing their jobs if they didn’t get jab after jab after jab.

My own brother Alex had died in hard lockdown in Sydney just that month and even if his 3rd experimental jab didn’t kill him, the sheer isolation would have for sure.  His mental health was seriously shaky, to say the least.

Deep down, I was scared, really scared, about the way the world was going.

The thought of forced jab mandates was terrifying, the thought of the world – our world – being dictated to by a bunch of unelected billionaires and politicians (with Eugenicists in their immediate family) was terrifying. The thought of the supply chains breaking and the huge inflation and the food shortages to come was terrifying. I knew about the consequences of lockdowns and money printing since around April 2020 as more clever people than I, had pieced it all together already.  While we were expecting a war of some kind, as a massive diversion, nobody foresaw the suicidal sanctions on Russia and the subsequent energy crisis these actions would precipitate.

Most of all, the knowledge of what the experimental jabs were doing to people was terrifying.  Mass media were censoring all of that and I was running the risk of losing my social media accounts because I couldn’t help sharing the stuff I learned, in the hope of making a difference to just one life.

Outside my head, everyone was looking forward to Christmas and the end of lockdown, while inside my head Armageddon was coming.

What Would Robert The Bruce Say?

Now, this is weird, I know, but when I realised that I had the actual blood of Robert The Bruce running through my veins, I started to feel immediately braver!

When I imagined what the legendary Scottish hero would say to his 22nd Great Granddaughter on hearing her woes, I knew it would not be ‘There, there, yes, it’s awful dear!’.

No, he would be disgusted at what a wimp I was being.

I was, after all, a grown-ass woman of 60, overweight but healthy, living in a luxury flat in Brighton with many, many skills and resources that most people have not.

What on earth was I feeling miserable about?

At least I didn’t have to physically fight any battles (yet), my family were not locked up as political prisoners and I didn’t have an infant daughter to worry about.

My two were all grown up and – as they kept telling me – willing and able to take the consequences of any stupid decisions they make.

I resolved, there and then, to start living my life again as a brave woman would.

As the 22nd Great Grandaughter of Robert The Bruce should.

Till next time!

Nicola

p.s. Why not come over and visit me at my YouTube channel? You can connect with me there (or in the comments below).  Do say you came from my Family History Blog!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Diary

12 September 2022 By Nicola Cairncross 2 Comments

WDYTYA | Tracing My Family Tree | Part 2

I’m on a quest to track down the various branches of my family tree and then write it up in a format – perhaps a picture book – that my kids can show their kids!

Check Out Part 1 Here

After she told me that there was a blown up picture of Overington’s Forge in Durrington, I said to Sarah, I wonder if I can contact Tesco’s and find out if they have an original of that picture with my great-grandad Albert Edwin Lish in?

She replied “Yes, or perhaps you could contact that Worthing Historian chap, Chris Hare, he might know.”

“Chris Hare?  That sounds familiar. Let’s Google him….OMG I know him…he’s the bloke I used to sit RIGHT NEXT TO, in Political History, at Durrington High School, back in 1977-78.  How weird is that?”

So I dashed off an email to Chris, with all the usual chitchat, asking if he knew how the photo of Overington’s had come to be used in the Tesco’s foyer, and if he knew where I could get a copy.

Bless him, he emailed me straight back, telling me about his book and attaching a copy of the photo.  He could even let me have a print if I wanted one.

So my grand-dad, Ronald Lish, had a father Albert Lish, a blacksmith, who married Rose Hillman. Tracing the Lish family back over the centuries, to 1625 and Johanis Lish, it seems as if they didn’t stray far from Worthing. Many lived in the surrounding villages, particularly Henfield and Poynings, and many lived and are buried in Steyning.

I turned my attention to my Nan, Amelia Lish.  I knew nothing about her beyond that she’d been in service since she was about 14 (Wiston House?), had met Ron on Worthing Seafront and that she came from Suffolk. Her marriage certificate had come back and given me a couple of bits of new information.  The certificates not only list info about the person concerned (date of birth and maiden name) but the two fathers of both bride & groom, so are well worth the £20 odd you pay for one.

Amelia & Ronald’s certificate confirmed her maiden name was Moss and her middle name was Martha (new information to me). She was born on 22nd September 1911.  I remembered that was her birthday because it was exactly one week before mine on the 29th. She married Ronald James Lish in April 1934 in East Preston, Sussex and he was listed as a bricklayer, living in Durrington.

Nan and I used to spend a lot of time together, as my sister Heather and I used to go there most days after school, and even lived with our Nan and Grandad for a couple of years.  Another story for another day.  She liked to teach us skills and we spent many happy hours cooking, sewing, knitting, crocheting and banging together bits of wood in Grandad’s garage.  During these times, we talked and suddenly I remembered that she had said her mother’s name was Winifred.  I’d laughed as it was SUCH an old fashioned name.

Amelia’s dad is listed as William James Moss, a clerk, and the Census records say she may have had a sister called Edith W. Moss who lived with them in Worthing for a while, shortly after Ron and Amelia got married.  I do recall she had a relative who she used to visit in Partridge Green, perhaps that was Edith?

Now to find William James, who must have come from Suffolk, where Nan had told me she was born.  I had no more info than that but this is where the Ancestry magic clicked in.  As soon as you start plugging in people’s names and guessing at their birthdays (assume everyone lives 50 odd years and allow 20 years between generations as everyone married young) then it gives the software enough to go on.  It will start suggesting people from the digitised Birth, Marriage & Deaths records, parish records, not to mention the cataloguing of gravestones in graveyards, that has been going on for many years now.  This process can take a few days, so if you don’t start getting suggestions immediately, don’t despair, give it time.

According to Ancestry, William James Moss was born in 1890 in Suffolk; his father, Charles, was 22 and his mother, Annie, was 21. He had one daughter, Amelia, with Winifred Florence Hawes in 1911. He died in 1976 in Bucklesham, Suffolk, at the age of 86, and was buried there.  No mention of an Edith. W. Moss though, although the W suggested she might have the middle name of Winifred, their mother.  She could be an aunt, as an Edith appears in the generation before.

Now here’s where things get even more interesting.  If you just follow your family tree up, as far as you can go on each side, you come across some interesting characters and sometimes mysteries, and the Moss / Hawes family had plenty of both..

Winifred was born in 1892 in Athlington, Suffolk.  Her father, Frederick, was 35, and her mother, Eliza Hawes, nee Whatling, from Hoxne in Suffolk, was 37. Winifred was 19 and single in the 1911 Census, listed as living at Fur House, Athelington, Eye, Suffolk, with her father, mother and sister Emily who was 26. Frederick was listed as a farmer so the name Fur House is interesting.

Winifred married and had one daughter, Amelia, with William James Moss in 1911. She died in 1950 in England at the age of 58.

But when I looked into Winifred’s father, Frederick Hawes, born in 1857 in Athelington, Suffolk, it got a bit more confusing.

A picture appeared and as you can imagine, pictures of working-class people are few and far between.  My interest in Frederick was piqued.  This is a blown-up section, in the original photograph there is a woman and child.  But in the one I saw originally, he’s surrounded by a large family and lots of children.  But hang on, I thought he only had two daughters, Winifred and Emily?

From the ‘Births, Marriages & Deaths’ records, Frederick appears to have had three wives, Alvina Jennings, Eliza Whatling and Eliza Skinner. According to Ancestry, when you plug all those wives in, Frederick apparently had seven sons and 12 daughters.

According to the 1987 Census, he did live in Hoxne, Suffolk at that time, so that must have been where he met Eliza.  He is listed as getting married in October in Hoxne but also to Alvina Anna Jennings, on the 1st or the 10th of October, in Stradbroke, Suffolk.  Did he then go on to marry Eliza Skinner?  More work to be done here I think.  Frederick died in April 1943 in Suffolk at the ripe old age of 86.

Robert Hawes, Frederick’s father, was born in 1809 to Robert Hawes (born 1767) and Elizabeth (nee Bains).  Keeping track of birthdates is sometimes the only way to keep track of individuals through the generations, especially where families have the habit of calling one child after the father!

Robert’s parents were Thomas Hawes and Elizabeth (nee Shadwell), Thomas’s parents were Robert Hawes and Mary (nee Walker) and so on backwards in time, but then it gets interesting again.

Robert’s parents were Ambrose Hawes (born 1654 and Susan (nee Crouching).  Now, in my short experience of doing this, when you get an interesting name, you are getting close to something with potential.  Why would a family break with habits of several lifetimes and call a child Ambrose?  Where did that name come from?

While Ambrose’s dad was another Robert Hawes (born 1630), who married Ann (nee Gay), and Robert’s dad was another Thomas Hawes (born 1605) married to Mary, Thomas’ dad was yet another Thomas (born 1573) who married a Lettice Underwood.

Bingo!  Letice, Lettice and any other spelling permutations was a name most favoured by the gentry, as Queen Elizabeth’s cousin once removed was named Lettice Knollys, the one who had an affair in 1565 with Elizabeth’s much-beloved companion Lord Robert Dudley.

Lettice Underwood was born to Sir George Underwood and Alice (nee Brockett) in 1575, in Weston, Hertfordshire, England.

Weirdly, the other person who used to sit on our set of 4 desks at school in that history lesson was Peter Underwood.   He was a large, rather volatile chap and I was quite scared of him. (The fourth was Leonard Paine, who I had rather a crush on!).  I’ve never met an Underwood since.

Back to the 16th Century… Sir George Underwood could trace his lineage back to Sir Thomas Underwood who, around 1500, married Isobel de Weston, whose father was Sir Thomas Weston and her mother was Lady Cecilia D’Irmingland.

Lady Cecilia had been born in 1457 in Sharrington, Norfolk, England, just next door to the county of Suffolk, where my grandmother had been born.

Rather taken with that name, I did a bit of digging online and found out that Lady Cecilia had obviously been considered either important or beautiful enough to paint, as a slightly fuzzy portrait can be found online.  Please let me know in the comments if you know where I can see the original or if you know the artist.

The style of the time was very much the High Renaissance of famous Italian painters like Da Vinci and Michaelangelo but was slowly evolving to include the more formal ‘Old Master’ style and German and Dutch painters were starting to make a name. Many artists painted portraits to keep bread on the table but it was considered a distraction from the grand works – usually religious or classical – they all craved to paint for grand patrons like the Church or aristocracy.

The Irmingland family seat was Hastings-Hall Manor, as detailed in this online history,  “Edric a Dane owned Irmingland at the (Edward The) Confessor’s survey, and it contained two carucates, one belonged to the lord in demean, and the other was in his tenants hands, the whole was then of 20s. per annum value.”

…but it was no more, sadly, “as in 1433, Agnes, widow of John Hoddys of Buxton, daughter and heiress of William Hastyngs of Irmingland, and Cecily her daughter, released all right to John Bettes, senior, of Irmingland, and so it became joined to The Manor of Whitfoot’s-Hall, Which anciently belonged to a family sirnamed from the town; in 1196 Warine de Irmingland (fn. 8) and Godfry de Irmingland held it at the 3d part of a fee, as parcel of the honour of Clare; he was son of Ralf, and father of that Ralf, that was lord here in 1249. In 1302 John de Ermingland had it, and in 1315 Ralf de Irmingland and John aforesaid, whose family continued long here, and had lands; but the manor was sold by Ralf in 1327, to Thomas Whitefoot and Alice his wife; Robert Whitefoot, parson of the moiety of Reepham St. Mary, John his brother, and Margaret his sister, all of Reepham, being trustees; and in 1336, Godfry (fn. 9) son of Ralf de Ermingland, released all his right; in 1394 Henry Whitefoot had it, and he and his feoffees in 1396 mortgaged it to John Spoo and Nichola his wife; and in 1410 released it to Roger Taylor of Wulterton, and John Mertoft; Richard Whitefoot had it, and Joan his widow in 1422 released it to Taylor and Mortoft, and in 1423 Taylor, Mortoft, Spoo, and his wife, sold it to John Bettes, senior, and his trustees; and in 1427 Robert, son and heir of Henry Whitefoot of Gressenhall, released all right, and so Bettes became sole lord, and afterwards joined the two manors, as they now remain.”

Notice that a Nichola Spoo lived there in around 1396.  Life is full of spooky co-incidences. There is an Irmingland Road, just north of Norwich, which I imagine might be the area where Lady Cecilia lived until she married Sir Thomas Weston.

“Edward the Confessor was one of the last Anglo-Saxon English kings. Usually considered the last king of the House of Wessex, he ruled from 1042 to 1066. Edward was the son of Æthelred the Unready and Emma of Normandy. He succeeded Cnut the Great’s son – and his own half-brother – Harthacnut.”  The popular tv series “The Last Kingdom” covers this time and all the colourful characters in the most entertaining detail.

I was pretty excited now and, fuzzy or not, very happy to find Lady Cecilia – my 14th Great Grandmother – in my family tree and to be able to share her with my family.  The best bit is that she is related to both parts of my family, as she comes down through our Mother’s side.

My plan is, once I’ve finished the family tree, to go on a driving tour of England and Scotland and visit all the most significant places.  As one of the fixtures on my must-visit restaurants is Moreston Hall, Norfolk, owned by Chef Galton Blackiston, I’m delighted to see that is just up the road from the location of Irmingland Road and the rather austere Norman church All Saints, which must have seen some Irminglands in its time.

I’m all fired up now, remembering how much fun this is, several months later.

Tune in regularly to hear the next, possibly the most exciting part of my family history discovery journey.

Certianly the one that had the most positive personal impact on me, just when I needed it most.

Until tomorrow!

Nicola

 

 

Filed Under: Diary

8 September 2022 By Nicola Cairncross Leave a Comment

WDYTYA | Tracing My Family Tree | Part 1

Back in the lockdown, in an attempt to distract myself from what’s going on around me, I started watching “Who Do You Think You Are?” on BBC iPlayer. There are some on YouTube too, but uploaded in a very odd way, so they play out of order, so work through the Player ones first.

I really enjoyed most of the episodes, being a mix of social and political history, detective work and titbits gleaned of famous people’s lives, homes and families. There was one painful series when people had to wear masks and socially distance (even when meeting mothers they hadn’t seen for 50 years) but luckily that was only a few episodes.

My interest was really piqued with Danny Dyer’s episode, an actor most famous for starring in Eastenders, where he found that he was related to royalty going back hundreds of years. My ex-husband’s mother had told me a great story of her Russian refugee background and also, I suddenly remembered that my birth father (who died when I was very young) had a rather fancy Scottish name, which might lead to something exciting.

From Danny’s episode, it was obvious that it’s much easier to trace your ancestors, once you hit a toff or two, because their births, marriages and deaths were better chronicled than most. How else would you keep track of your property and assets, or grow them for that matter? Generations of peasants are more difficult, especially as they tend to repeat Christian names, but still, Parish Records are all online now so it makes it much easier.

I decided to invest some cash and get involved after watching Josh Widdicomb’s episode though. If you have not seen this, it’s worth watching even if you are not particularly into genealogy. His reactions to the amazing revelations as they unfurled were absolutely priceless and I laughed out loud on several occasions.

Laughter is very good for you and it’s been in short supply recently.

So I set up three accounts with the leading software companies and added in the immediate relatives and went off to make some tea. A really good idea for when you get stuck, I discovered as it gives the databases time to whizz-bang-whirr about sorting, sharing and making connections from the info I’d just added.

A bit later I came back to have another go. I was delighted to see that Ancestry had started adding ‘hints’ in the form of bright green leaves to the people I’d added so far. There were also ‘parent hints’ where they suggested parents for the people I’d added. It was a much nicer looking interface than the other two, as well. I cancelled the others and added some more people.

Just to give you an idea of my starting point, I’ve included a picture (above) of where I was starting from. On my side of the family there was a mother, Patricia, who had been ‘on the stage’ in, among other things, The King & I in the West End.

I had a birth father, Thomas, I never knew, a step-father Alexander (aka Sandy) Cairncross, whose family tree has been traced around the world by very keen amateur geneologists, and two maternal grandparents – Ronald & Amelia – but nothing further back than that. My ex-husband’s grandparents were a complete mystery and he’s asked me to keep his side of the family private.

My starting point ooked like the picture above (without the photos which I added in later)

I had an idea that my grand-dad, Ronald Lish, had lived around Sussex most of his life and that Amelia’s family had come from Suffolk. She came to Worthing to work in service in a big house locally and met Ronald on the seafront one Sunday. She told me frankly that “…I knew he wasn’t a looker but he was very, very kind” and she just knew he’d look after her. We have a beautiful pic of their wedding day which I must dig out.

Amelia worked all her life as a ‘char’ cleaning for Dr & Mrs Binks and other middle-class people locally. Grandad did their gardens as well as working as a market gardener in the orchards in Durrington, which was to become West Durrington.

They were poor but ate very well because of Grandad’s gardening skills and Nan’s brilliant cooking, baking and preserving skills. She had a great book of hand-written recipes from the time she was ‘in service’ as a young girl and she referred to that all her life. She was also a demon flower-arranger (is there a word for that?) and once got banned from her local Women’s Institute because she just kept winning.

None of this was very helpful to my genealogy search, but it was stirring it all up in my mind, one day the nugget dropped into my brain that Amelia’s mother’s name was Winifred. But what was her maiden name? I ordered the marriage certificate that Ancestry found for me and sat back to wait for more info.

Meanwhile, I went to visit my sister Sarah and she reminded me that Ronald’s Dad had worked at Overingtons, the forge and hardware shop in Durrington where we grew up. She thought there had been a picture of him outside, blown up large in ‘The Big Tesco’s’ as the locals called it, built on those very orchards where Ronald had worked.

Then things started getting very spooky…

Filed Under: Diary

8 September 2022 By Nicola Cairncross Leave a Comment

3 Crucial Business Books To Ensure YOUR Business Survives This Recession

Business owners are more beleaguered than ever.  From lockdowns to double-digit inflation on things you need to buy, to astronomic energy bills, the obstacles to business success are growing larger by the day.

However, by investing in YOURSELF – and we are talking time not money – you can make sure that you make the right decisions while under pressure and give your business the best possible chances of surviving & thriving through the next few years.

Not convinced?  Here are 3 reasons I urge you to think of books as your secret weapon in your fight for business excellence.

  • You can listen as well as read, if that’s your thing.  Not only do most books go to Audible quickly now (including my own ‘The Money Gym‘ but there are browser plugins that will read articles, blog posts and the rapidly becoming essential alternative media ‘real news’ channel Substack out loud to you.  My mate Andy sets his for double time so he gets through longer articles and news even quicker!
  • ‘Leaders Are Readers’ says Tim Sanders, author of ‘Love Is The Killer App’ and when I’m listening to podcasts, what shines through is that the top people are either reading (or listening) to biographies and ‘how to’ books.
  • Suddenly, all that boring dead time while working out, folding the washing, being a taxi for teens or walking the dog is now a portable classroom.

Being very creative and highly visual, I get easily overwhelmed by lots of information.  So I like to divide my activities into three main areas; mindset, marketing & money.  There is a place for business skills too, but they usually fit under one of those three and if you don’t get those three right, you can have as many business skills as you like, but you still won’t succeed.  Unless you are running a company FOR an entrepreneur.


3 Crucial Business Books To Ensure YOUR Business Survives This Recession

So here are my ‘3 Crucial Business Books’, carefully culled from a much longer list so don’t miss these, read / listen as soon as possible.  One book in each of my three main areas.  First up, Mindset!

Mindset

‘Creating A Bug Free Mind‘ by Andy Shaw.

I could have gone with another top favourite here, ‘The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People’ which was an absolute game-changer for me in my late 30’s but I’m going to assume you have read it already.  No?  Run, don’t walk to get that one.

Can I be blunt? You are never going to succeed in business unless you sort yourself out.  If you have low self-esteem, you don’t believe that you are worthy of success, if you cringe when you talk about money, if you think sales is a dirty word, if you are carrying baggage and resentments, you are on a hiding to nothing.  Might as well shut up shop now.

My really tippy top-notch favourite book on mindset is actually written by a close friend of mine, Andy Shaw.

I’ve watched him go from strength to strength personally, while people from all walks of life in over 150 countries in the world have had their lives changed by this, and its companion book ‘Using A Bug Free Mind’.

Not to mention that I’ve read both books twice now and it’s certainly changed my life – and my business –  immeasurably.

While keeping your head straight is lifelong work, you’ll be wanting to test your big idea now (also known as your Irresistible Offer).

The ONLY way to really test an idea – and get an honest response – is by trying to sell it to someone.  In less than 30 seconds ideally. This can be as simple as explaining it to your Nan, your best mate or someone in your business community.

If they don’t get it immediately you’ve got more work to do on your offer.  But once you’ve cracked it, it’s time to set up a marketing funnel and a sales system, so you never miss a potential sale.


Marketing & Sales

‘Predictable Revenue‘: Turn Your Business Into A Sales Machine With The $100 Million Best Practices Of Salesforce.com’ by Aaron Hall

In order to make it in business, you need to know how both sales & marketing work. While great marketing is popularly thought to make sales redundant, you do need to know how to encourage people to make that buying decision (and how to make it easy for them).

This is the first book I came across that covers the two together, creating a simple, easy-to-follow system to set up both successfully in your business.

What to do, what not to do, what to do if you sell products versus services, how to sell high ticket versus low ticket, how to DIY and how to run a sales team and marketing department – it’s all there.

It’s also surprisingly fun to read, with Aaron sharing lots of anecdotes to illustrate his point.

Business Planning

‘Traction‘ by Gino Wickman

If you’ve ever wondered how to write a short, brilliant, easy-to-follow business plan THEN actually follow it and track your progress regularly, look no further.

I absolutely love this book and use their Meeting Agenda with my Mastermind clients every quarter.

This is written in the format of a self-help book but if you prefer a story, then click through to ‘Traction’ and then look for ‘Get A Grip’ by Gino Wickman – an excellent follow-up to ‘Traction’ driving home the principles in ‘case study’ kind of format.

Again, combining solid practical ‘how to’ with templates and anecdotes from Gino’s own experience of working with many different types of business.


Money

Bonus Book: “Profit First” by Mike Michalowicz

As I can’t leave any list without covering all three of the areas essential for business success, I’ve decided to give you a bonus book – all about how to handle the money in your business!  I’d already been tracking my cashflows weekly – personal and business – and so it was just a matter of absorbing the principles and re-arranging the rows a bit.

Billed as “How to Transform Your Business from a Cash-Eating Monster to a Money-Making Machine” this book is a must for all small business owners.  It is not right for bigger ambition fast-growth companies that don’t care about profit because they are aiming to attract Venture Capital. Unless they want a Plan B, which is not a bad thing in this day and age.

Author of cult classics The Pumpkin Plan and The Toilet Paper Entrepreneur offers a simple, counterintuitive cash management solution that will help small businesses break out of the doom spiral and achieve instant profitability.

Conventional accounting uses the logical (albeit, flawed) formula: Sales – Expenses = Profit. The problem is, businesses are run by humans, and humans aren’t always logical. Serial entrepreneur Mike Michalowicz has developed a behavioral approach to accounting to flip the formula: Sales – Profit = Expenses. Just as the most effective weight loss strategy is to limit portions by using smaller plates, Michalowicz shows that by taking profit first and apportioning only what remains for expenses, entrepreneurs will transform their businesses from cash-eating monsters to profitable cash cows. Using Michalowicz’s Profit First system, readers will learn that:

· Following 4 simple principles can simplify accounting and make it easier to manage a profitable business by looking at bank account balances.
· A small, profitable business can be worth much more than a large business surviving on its top line.
· Businesses that attain early and sustained profitability have a better shot at achieving long-term growth.

With dozens of case studies, practical, step-by-step advice, and his signature sense of humour, Michalowicz has the game-changing roadmap for any entrepreneur to make the money they always dreamed of.


Why Did I Put The Books In This Order?

Because there is no point in writing a business plan unless you have your head on straight personally and you have an ‘irresistible offer’.  Find out more about that here.  Similarly, there is no point in learning how to manage the money until you have made some sales.  I have over 52 years experience of business as an entrepreneur (yes, I started at just 8 years old!) and I’ve put this list together in the order I would have liked to get this info.  Now, tell me…

Would You Like My Full List Of The ‘Top 10 Crucial Business Books To Ensure YOUR Business Survives This Recession’?

Just put your email address in the box below.  Your email is safe with us and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Filed Under: Marketing & Sales, Money, Resources, Success Thinking

8 September 2022 By Nicola Cairncross Leave a Comment

My New View | Estuary Life

I’m back in Shoreham-By-Sea, a lovely little town between Brighton and Worthing. What many people don’t know about Shoreham is that it’s not only got a great beach, often much quieter and cleaner than those of it’s neighbours, but it’s got a river.  An estuary no less, which means it’s tidal and it’s never the same from one hour to the next.  I thought I’d share some photos as I take them, where I’m hoping to get some crackers to put on my walls.

8th September, 2022.  07:30

 

Filed Under: Estuary Life

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